Letters to Cissy
by Lady Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Summary: The letters that Bellatrix and Narcissa shared while Bella was in Azkaban


LETTERS TO CISSY!

Dear Cissy,  
The days are long and the nights cold.

The sound of the waves on the rocks doesn't sooth me anymore. It hurts my head, and makes me want to scream. But if I scream, no one hears me. And if they do they don't care.

I know it has been a long time since I wrote to you, I wonder if you have forgotten me! If you have moved on in the long years I have been here. I have lost count of the days, of the time I have been inside this living hell! 10 years on my last count, but I cant remember how long ago the last count was.

I miss you, I miss you more than I ever thought I could miss another human being! I want to be free of this hell, to be with you again, to laugh with you, to sing and dance, and be sisters again. But all I have is my memories, and sometimes they too, fade.

I hope you receive this letter. But I don't hold onto hope much anymore.

Love always

Your Bella

Dear Bella,

I have watched the rain fall today from your bedroom window. I wonder if you watched it too from where you are. I looked up at the moon last night, and hoped that you too could see it in the heavens. It makes me feel closer to you, like we are not so far apart if we are seeing the same moon and hearing the same rain.

But then, I feel the hole in my heart where you used to be.

How long as it been, 10 years, 2 months, 4 days and 7 hours, since they took you from me! The days feel like years, the years feel like lifetimes. How I miss you! More now than ever. I have waited for your letters, and they have not come. For almost 5 months now, I have not heard from you. I worry for you, I miss you!

Please don't forget me Bella! Please remember me!

All my love, now and always

Cissy.  
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Dear Cissy,

I have looked at the moon as it hangs in the dark sky, but it holds no light for me anymore. The beams of silver used to streak through the tiny hole in the wall to my cell and I used to like to watch them shine on the cold, stone floor.

Now, I don't watch them. I see no light in this darkness!

I can no longer hear the rain, the sound of the sea crashing on the rocks below drowns out all sound of the world outside.

I hear the screams of the others in here with me, but no, I don't hear the rain.

I am sorry that from so far away, I cause you pain. The hole in your heart is my fault, I wish more than anything in the world that I could fill it for you. Please forgive me!

Love now and forever

Bella

To my one and only Bella,

Your letter arriving was like the first spring flower after a long winter.

Please don't ever say your sorry to me! You have nothing to be sorry for. Your my hero Bella, you have always been my hero, and you always will be.

I ask you my beloved sister, to look at the moon again. See its shining light, see the beauty of it. And feel the hope in your heart once more.

I ask you to listen to the sound of the rain, block out the sound of death and suffering around you, and hear the drops as they fall from the sky. As you see the moon and hear the rain, think of me. As I am thinking of you.

I watched a leaf fall from the tree in the garden today. I watched the dew form on the grass last night as the sun sank behind the clouds. I watched a rabbit run through the hedges towards the forest. I am watching these things for you Bella. I ask you to watch them through my eyes. And see them again. I ask you to hold onto hope, and don't let the darkness take you where I cant follow.

Love always and forever

Cissy.

To my Cissy,

You tell me not to say I am sorry, but I am! I am sorry, for everything!

I am sorry for all the pain I caused you! I am sorry for not showing you how much it hurt me when our other sister left us! I am sorry for not being there for you and your son now!  
I shouldn't be your hero, I should mean nothing to you, I am still causing you pain!

But reading your words, I cant help and be selfish again, and be glad that you still love me.

But I did as you asked, I looked at the moon last night, I saw the rabbit, and the leaf, the dew on the grass. All through your eyes. It made me smile. You make me smile. The thoughts and memories of you make me smile. How I long to see you, to hold your hand dear sister, and take the pain away that I have caused.

I will try to hope, to hold onto you.

Love eternal

Bella

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To my Bella

I forgive you for all those things that you feel you need to say sorry for. Even though, they where not always your doing.

You are and always will be my hero. Nor matter what you say, or do. You will always be my hero. The thought of you smiling again makes me cry with happiness, as it shows you still have hope. It may only be a small flicker, but it's there, in your heart.

The memories of us grow stronger in my mind with every letter you write to me. I am glad you want to be selfish, I am happy to say that I am selfish too! I wait for your letters to come. I cherish all of them, I sleep with them under my pillow at night. It makes me feel closer to you. Like your not so far away from me.

I watched the sun rise today, the sky turned from black, to pink, to red, then yellow and finally a beautiful shade of blue. I listened to the sounds of the birds in the trees in my garden.

I am going to come to see you soon. I am having it arranged with the MOM! I need to see you again, to hold your hand and look into your eyes. Don't try to tell me not to come! I will not obey you. I need to have a chance to rekindle the hope in your heart!

All my love Cissy

Cissy, my beloved sister,

You can not come here. This place is too bad for someone like you! It'll haunt you long after you leave and return home.

I know you probely wont listem to me, but I thought I had to try to discourage you from coming here. I know you will not listen, you, the only person in the world that never has. The only one that I would allow not to obay my every word. But Cissy please, I beg you not to come to this place.

I want to be selfish and tell you to come, I want to be selfish and see your face again, but I wont be. Not this time. You place isnt with me anymore, it's with your family, your son, and your husband. I am sorry I started to write to you again. I knew deep down that it was going to make you want to come here, maybe thats what I wanted. Maybe that was the reason why I started the letters again, to make you want to come here. I don't know! But what I do know, is that you can not come Cissy. And, as much as it pains me to say I will not be writting to you again.

Please forgive me.

All my love forever Bella

The meeting has been arranged, I will be comeing to visit, on the 4th of September.

Cissy


End file.
